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Increasing
Individual Productivity in the Work Place through mastery
of self-esteem
The
Nature of our Seminars:
This
seminar has been designed to address individual productivity
on three separate levels. The first
level has to do with removing the blocks that
people bring with them to work. The better that a person
feels about themselves, the more likely they are to become
creative and determined to do a superior job for their
employer and for themselves. This, of course, presupposes
a positive collaborative relationship with the employer.
In order for a person to feel good about themselves they
need to have an accurate self-assessment, and recognize
what strengths and weaknesses they bring to the task.
The ideas and beliefs that hold us back from doing our
most productive work stems from our self-esteem,
which includes all the beliefs we currently hold about
our talents and abilities both positive and negative.
Nathaniel Branden, a contemporary psychologist, who is
often referred to as "the father of self-esteem" has stated
unequivocally that "self-concept is destiny ". Understanding
how our self-esteem develops and what we can do to change
our self-concept is essential in changing our level of
productivity on a permanent basis. An important question
that arises is, of course, “How do we learn who we are?”
Our primary care takers, usually mother and father, transfer
to the child their own beliefs and ideas about how the
world works, what is to be expected from themselves and
others in various relationships, and what we, as their
child, can reasonably expect from ourselves and the world.
To the extent that the messages we receive are nurturing,
uplifting, optimistic, and loving, we learn that much
of the world is “good”, and that we have the power to
be creative and loving, and that we will be rewarded for
having done so in many ways, including financially, emotionally,
and spiritually. The flip side of course, is that we observed
and learned the reverse of the above where the care takers
are not nurturing, but instead, perhaps hurtful
and abusive to each
other and to the child. This leaves the child with the
belief that the world is unsafe, unfair, and that we ourselves
are defective, non-creative, undesirable, unwanted, and
unlovable. In order for the child to develop a positive
self-concept it is necessary that he or she be supplied
with an adequate emotional connection with one or both
or his or her care takers. Therefore, even if the child
has not experienced emotional, physical, or sexual abuse,
the mere absence of emotional connection can leave the
child feeling an emptiness, which can be experienced by
the child as a feeling of inadequacy, un-lovability, and
persistent anxiety. People in the above category, often
find themselves struggling with addictions in order to
cope with the negativity they have experienced. Addictions
that we develop during our lives are deceptive in that
they give us the illusion that we are in more control
of ourselves while actually achieving the reverse effect.
Learning to deal effectively with the energy of our emotions,
as opposed to avoiding, repressing, or mishandling our
feelings allows our energy to be directed towards a goal
or project in a conscious, productive, and direct manner,
as well as raise our self- esteem, and have more rewarding
relationships with our colleagues , friends, and lovers.
Once we have identified the issues that a person is suffering
from as a result of the abusive, absent, or maladaptive
parenting they received, and have identified
their negative patterns of behavior, including their addictions
we move on to the second level,
which involves challenging the beliefs that continue to
fuel the feelings and behaviors which support the low
self-esteem and negative behavior patterns by filling
in the gaps that are created from the removal of the negative
early scripting. This involves teaching the individual
new ideas, concepts, and belief systems which the person
may never have previously considered. There are many methods
for helping a person who did not grow up in a loving,
nurturing, intact family to help them unlearn the negative
and destructive beliefs and behaviors modeled and molded
in that household. However, when there is an absence of
emotional connection over a long period of time the task
of repairing the damage becomes more difficult. When there
is abuse of any kind the person must first recognize that
he or she has been injured; that the injury
has remained unhealed, and that healing needs to occur
for the person to feel good about themselves which involves
feeling competent and lovable. This involves learning
new skills of relating to others and new ways of thinking
about ourselves, the goal of which, is to create a feeling
of optimism and positive expectation. These new skills
need to be practiced over and over until they become habitual
and internalized. The goal of all of this is to help a
person so that eventually these new skills become so well
integrated that the person automatically incorporates
them into a new sense of self.
The third and final level involves combining
the first two levels, so that when a person “slips” and
reverts back to the original negative sense of self (as
inevitably happens when people make important changes
in their lives) they notice their slips quickly and are
able to reestablish the new learned skills set. This seminar
has been designed to accomplish
all the above tasks, and in addition, to give people ongoing
support in making the difficult changes necessary to change
their lives permanently.
Seminar
Description:
-
Addictions,
self-esteem and productivity
We
live in an addictive society. Many of us suffer from
various addictions, some of which we rationalize as
being good for us. For example, the term “workaholic”
refers to someone who derives most or all of their pleasure
in life through their work. Our society, which has a
very strong work ethic, can applaud this kind of person,
since they view him/her as being very productive, devoted,
and successful. Often, companies reward their employees,
who spend most of their time and energy working, and
who put the rest of their lives as secondary in importance.
There are very few companies who reward their employees
for having a more balanced life, and as a result the
person who is successful at work has usually neglected
other areas of their life, especially in the areas of
relationships and health. Just in the area of marriage
alone, we have now over a fifty percent divorce rate,
which says nothing about the number of marriages that
are unhappy. The latest medical statistics indicate
that over eighty percent of people who visit doctors
suffer with illnesses directly or indirectly related
to stress. A good metaphor for addiction would be the
phrase “out of balance”. Whether the addiction is about
drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex, food, work, or even exercise,
the fact that a person is addicted is a signal that
something is seriously wrong in his/her life.
- The
use of power in the workplace
It
is essential to understand how the nature of the relationship
between the employer and employee can impact productivity
in a company. In most employer- employee relationships,
at an unconscious level, the employer is viewed by the
employee as a “parent”, who holds all the power, while
the employee sees him or herself as the “child” who
has to manipulate and please their parent in order to
get their needs met. Often times people in the workplace,
depending on their status, repeat the patterns of relationships
that they saw and experienced as children in their family
of origin. These patterns of behavior can include feelings
of low self-esteem, shame, guilt and fear of abandonment
which lead to negative behaviors and may be the precursors
to certain addictions. What this implies in the business
world is that there is a power struggle that is occurring
between the employer and the employee which results
in a competitive rather than collaborative relationship.
This “us” vs. “them” mentality creates stress, physical
and emotional illness, and contributes to the lack of
full productivity in a company. Depending upon whether
this issue is discussed between the parties involved
(and in most cases it is not) will determine the pervasiveness
of the personnel problems in the company. To create
a collaboration between the employer and the employee
requires that the employee feel empowered to freely
express his or her opinion not only without fear of
retribution, but also with anticipation that their opinions
are welcomed. In addition, this requires that the employer
be able and willing to give up some of their perceived
power, which also requires a higher development of their
self-esteem, and a clear understanding of the difference
between “having power” and being empowered.
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